Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
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