worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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