i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
Dick very happy bro
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
Randomize
