but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Randomize
