I swear she didn't look like that last week.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Randomize
