are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
My financial advisor pointed out that 37% of my income is currently going towards "non-essential food items"
That's banker lingo for "you're an alcoholic"
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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