And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Randomize
