I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
