That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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