theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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