Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
Three words: puerto rican gang bang
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
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