Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
Randomize
