I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
