sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
Randomize
