Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
Randomize
