This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Randomize
