I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
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