normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
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