WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
Randomize
