redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
