Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Randomize
