oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
Randomize
