I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
I think i sorta joined a cult last night
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize