You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
Randomize
