If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Randomize
