Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
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