Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
Randomize
