if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
I have fence marks all over my body
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
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