if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
