You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
Randomize
