No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
Randomize
