I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
Randomize
