cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
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