Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
Randomize
