just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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