Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
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