5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
