Its about making memories worth repressing
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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