Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Randomize
