party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
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