There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
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