I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Randomize
