I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
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