There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
