he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
Randomize
