I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
