You can't motorboat a personality
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
Randomize
