They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
Randomize
