remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize
