I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
Randomize
