i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
