The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
this will be a night to untag.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
