I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Randomize
