so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
Randomize
