i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
Please don't give away my fajitas
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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