it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
tell your sister to shave her snatch
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
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