Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
bring money and cleavage
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Randomize
