I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
Randomize
