Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
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