Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize