Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
My financial advisor pointed out that 37% of my income is currently going towards "non-essential food items"
That's banker lingo for "you're an alcoholic"
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
Randomize
