I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize