every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
Randomize