We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
He had one of those small greek statue penises
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize
