My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
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