I bet he comes in French.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Randomize
