glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
